Having children in the church service with the adults has come to be called family integrated worship. And having our children sitting by us during church seems so normal to me. But I know that to some, is it is something they have never seen and can't picture. I hear people ask questions like, will it make the child hate church when he is older? Are they able to get anything out of the sermon? Wouldn't a room for kids of the same age and one adult to facilitate be more fun for the children? Isn't it disruptive to the congregation to have children in the service?
These questions are worthy of an answer. But these questions are the wrong place to start. When deciding what church should look like for our children, we ought to start with:
What are the qualifications for an elder?
What are the necessary marks of a church?
Christians are commanded to sit under the preached Word by a pastor who meets the Biblical qualifications (1 Timothy 3:1-7). If you agree with this, then you will agree that believers, who happen to be children, ought to participate in corporate worship, not only in a Sunday school class with a teacher who does not meet the Biblical requirements of an elder. Learning in a Sunday school class can be a good addition to the gathering of the saints, but Sunday school is not a replacement for church.
Christians are commanded to partake communion as a corporate body. Believing children who are kept out the main church service often are kept from ever seeing another take communion, and they are not given the opportunity to take communion themselves. Unbelieving children and those who are so young that it is next to impossible to discern a credible profession of faith in the gospel can witness the church body partaking of communion, and like the children present at the first passover celebrations, ask, why do you do this?
Children are addressed in Ephesians (6:1) and Colossians (3:20), which are letters written to churches in the apostolic era. These letters were read in the churches. It seems to be assumed that the children would be present with their parents to hear these words. At my church, there are many children who are so young that it is next to impossible to discern a credible profession of faith. But they are there hearing the gospel every week. And just as John the Baptist leapt for joy in the womb at the greeting of Mary (Luke 1:41-45), so can those little ones sitting in church be regenerated by the preached Word and the Spirit, no matter how impossible our experience declares that to be.
Some have said that having age-segregated churches enables everyone to learn at their own maturity level. But a ten year old who has been taught theology and has been a Christian for 5 years can be more mature in the faith than a 40 year old who is a new convert. And somehow, 40 year olds who are new converts and 40 year olds who have been in the faith 20 years can all learn from the same sermon.
I know there are people who grew up in church with their parents and hated it. But there are people who grew up in Sunday school and hated it. Some people grew up having the Bible read to them as children and hated it. That doesn't seem to be a good reason to say, I won't read the Bible to my children. It doesn't seem that we as Christians should want to say to our children (by our words or our actions), don't come hear God's Word preached because I know you wouldn't like it. His Word is efficacious, so why would we tell our little ones it isn't for them when it's preached?
Last month, five children were baptized at my church. They were baptized on the basis on their profession of faith in the gospel and in obedience to God's command. It was a reminder to me of the benefits of family worship, since we were able to rejoice with our church family together and be reminded of some important truths together. We were reminded in those baptisms that entrance into the kingdom of God is not on the basis of age (one was as young as six), race, or the profession of faith given by one's parents. My sons watching these baptisms leaned over and told me that they remember their own baptisms. My three year old asked questions quietly as she watched. I am glad she is right there in the service with us on Sundays, hearing God's Word from a pastor who meets the Biblical requirements of an elder, and not excluded from corporate worship.
