Children Turning Into Teenagers

Instead of dreading the day when my children turn into teenagers, I think often about what I hope my children are like at that age. All the warnings I've received from parents with older children which essentially say, “just wait until your children are older,” haven't discouraged me yet. I look forward to that time. I want to raise my children to be likeable, even at the age we are supposed to not like them, the age we are suppose to call adolescence.



A good economist thinks two or three steps beyond the immediate effects of a given policy, even if that policy claims to be for the people, for the children, for education, for the environment, or for the poor.  And parents need to be good economists. We need to know what the long term goal is. It's not enough to determine if a given behavior in our children bothers us now. We should ask, what will this behavior look like coming from an older person? Even though my children are small, this gives me much to think about.



I hope my children as teenagers interact politely with each other and with us, their parents. I want them to know that there is wisdom to be gained from the adults in their sphere of life, and to accept the word "no" with humility.  This means I have to teach them now that things which are unpleasant can be beneficial, and I believe that through hard work (weeding, shoveling manure, laundry, cleaning, memorizing) they are learning this.  I hope that they are people with self control, gained from years of practice reigning in their will.  When I think about it, I guess what I want for my children as teenagers isn't much different from what I expect to see at their ages now.

It is not essential to me that my children as teenagers are college bound. This doesn't mean I see no value in the college experience, and I had a rather good one.  But I know that college degrees don't guarantee reasoning ability or wisdom, and it is equally clear to me that intellectual goals can be achieved apart from a four year institution. I do hope that they value knowledge, can dissect different ideas, and are enthusiastic learners. I want them to value logically consistency, and I hope they are able to recognize inconsistency in their own arguments.  I was so proud  when my nine year old recognized the logical fallacy of asserting the consequent (though not by name) while watching a documentary on the planets.  I also hope that their attitude in disagreement is humble and not disdainful or dismissive of others. I guess what I hope for my children as teenagers is not much different from what I want for myself.



I hope my children as teenagers know the Scriptures well enough to teach and to refute false ideas. I hope that their participation in our local church is more than the habit of sitting still, but I hope that they seek to be a blessing to those around them. I hope that they don't see their time as their own possession to be spent only for their own benefit, using all their time for their own education and pleasure.  This means that starting now, we can't use our time only for our own pleasure and education.  So when I think about it, I guess my goals for them as teenagers aren't much different than what I hope for them as adults.

These goals will keep me very busy.  Because I don't believe that the character of our teenagers is randomly determined or completely a product of hormones.  In the qualifications for elders listed in 1 Timothy 3, we read that if a man's children are unruly, then his household in not being ruled well.  This is a sobering warning.  This is a serious task.  And I know that I need to start now.